Life is so bittersweet.
I am leaving behind something that threw me into a torrent, tried me, and ultimately left me confused, uncertain, but more confident to face a world that can never equal the experiences and people I found at what has come to be my second home, Troy High School. When I walked through the gates today, I knew it would be for the last time.
As I walked through the campus after school today, all finals finished, with arms full of old gifts, old messages, everything that it has contained for the past year, I thought of my locker’s fate. Willed to some freshman next year, no doubt, who will not know the soul who passed before him and instead struggle with the tall and fickle lock as I did as a wee freshman. What do we all leave behind? What will be remembered about the class of 2004?
Already I begin to forget the details of complex-valued trial solutions, meiosis, Hegel’s dialectic, the allegory of the cave (Plato), eigenvalues and eigenvectors, the myth of Sisyphus, the details of the plot of Tan Veloz Como El Deseo, the Schroedinger wave equation (and associated quantum states), the fate of los detenidos-desaparecidos in Argentina, Maxwell’s equations, As I Lay Dying, The Brothers Karamazov, Lao Tzu’s conception of the Tao (of which nothing can be said), gastrulation, defibrillation, the nature of quality in Pirsig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, nonhomogenous defective systems of constant coefficient linear ordinary differential equations. A true liberal arts education, moreso than can be said for almost any other secondary educational institution in history, but one that is quickly fading into the recesses of this troubled but resilient mind. What have I learned?
Already I forget the hours of studying, the hours in the library, the frantic last minute preparation for a physics test or calc test, the fear of a freshman towards an unknown world, the mental breakdowns after 12 AM, the Cheney quarter project that took me up to 12:32 AM (not to be equaled until my junior year), the emotional breakdowns last year, the quick ACSL study sessions, and writing essays without ever having read the article (I never did not write an essay without having read the book). And I forget the hours spent in dry bureaucratic labor in the Fullerton Chamber of Commerce, packing boxes until my hands hurt in Santa Ana, preparing an art exhibition, preparing hundreds of presentations for my church’s service, trying and failing to learn to play the bass guitar. What have I learned?
I remember people. People laughing, people crying, people stressing, people sad, people happy. I remember Bonnie’s delightfully-evil smile as she contemplated taking over the world (or whatever was on her mind). I remember Rachelle’s little looks of surprise. I remember Ally’s little happy moments, and those moments when I got to glimpse a little bit of Banack’s emotional side. I remember Laura’s sleepy look, along with Makal’s constant sleep (I still can’t believe you missed the UC deadline!). I remember Antonio’s ability to find joy in anything. I remember Alex’s stolid, invariable look. I remember Eric’s crazy moves. I remember Tim’s constant embarassment over something or other (he has tried dangerous substances ;)). I remember Sam’s expression of pleasure as he slipped a burrito into my backpack. I remember Mr. Knox smiling as he gave us one of his little stories. I remember Caroline and Jackie’s constant worried expressions. I remember Mr. Fournell’s stories about running away from home. I remember Angie’s constant happiness and jumpiness. I remember Mi-chelle hitting me and me running away. I remember Ms. Lewis’ commentary on her favorite poet, Emily Dickinson. I remember Mr. Sawaya laughing so hard he got all choked up. I remember Li and I, messing around at the programming contest and (later) at Winter Formal. I remember beating Fullmer in a U.S. History question. I remember Clarissa’s games of cards and the quizzical expression she likes to give me. I remember Candace in her “leader” mode, running Interact with business-as-usual. I remember Amit’s crazy ass coding and film skills. I remember Mai’s stunning eyes :). I remember so many people, so many moments, so much, so much. I’m tearing up a little remembering all of it already. How can I forget the wonderfully talented people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, knowing, and calling “my friend”?
So as we all go on to our respective colleges, universities, and eventually, fates, remember us. For we are the Troy High School class of 2004. And that, my friend, is something that can never be forgotten, nor ignored. Never give up.
Taken directly from Amit’s beautiful video yearbook. Thank you, man.
Gary Jules - Mad World
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world